Limitless Spirit

Building Spiritual Habits in Your Home

Helen Todd/Clayton Greene Season 6 Episode 163

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Unlock the secrets to building a spiritually fulfilling home amidst modern chaos with Clayton Greene, co-author of "Building Spiritual Habits in the Home." Clayton joins us to share invaluable insights on nurturing a faith-driven environment for families, drawing inspiration from his successful creation, Advent Blocks. Together, we explore practical strategies and grace-filled advice for aligning your home's atmosphere with your spiritual goals, ensuring that these habits become meaningful rather than burdensome tasks on your checklist.

Reflect on how small, consistent changes can transform your spiritual journey. We discuss the art of starting small and the power of tangible reminders like Advent blocks and gratitude cubes, inspired by biblical teachings. Discover how to select the right environment and timing for spiritual practices, and the significance of playfulness and community in sustaining these habits. Through practical examples and personal anecdotes, we offer guidance on overcoming challenges and integrating these practices into your daily life.

Explore resources on the GoodKindShop website to further support your spiritual growth journey, and gain insights from Clayton's book for step-by-step guidance on building a faith-filled home. This episode is your guide to transforming your household into a sanctuary of spiritual growth and connection.

https://goodkind.shop/collections/spiritual-habits?utm_source=klaviyo&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=book-promo-2024-launch&utm_id=01JH17D6DGHNSKT713FTG46XCX&_kx=NbGl12uunVKyMREHh9zKPJ-fwwaqobw2JiEkV7HKOW0kYjFBzgURCknvEP5uVNmv.XmwrUs

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Speaker 1:

Welcome to Limitless Spirit, a weekly podcast with host Helen Todd, where she interviews guests about pursuing spiritual growth, discovering life's purpose through serving others and developing a deeper faith in Christ.

Speaker 2:

Welcome back to another episode of Limitless Spirit, where we explore how faith shapes our lives and our greater purpose. I'm your host, helen Todd, and today we're diving into a topic that resonates deeply with every Christian parent Well, with every Christian, really and that's the challenge of building a spiritually rich home in today's fast-paced world. Maybe you've struggled to find time for family devotions, or perhaps you feel like you're failing at passing down your faith in a way that sticks. If that's you, you're not alone. My guest today is Clayton Green. He is the co-author of a book called Building Spiritual Habits in the Home, and this book provides practical and grace-filled insights into creating a culture of faith in your family life.

Speaker 2:

In this episode, we will talk about why so many parents feel inadequate in this area and the biggest challenges of fostering faith at home and, most importantly, how to establish meaningful spiritual habits without it feeling like just another task or your to-do list, whether you're a parent or a grandparent or a mentor. This conversation is packed with wisdom and encouragement and really practical advice to help you create an atmosphere where faith thrives advice to help you create an atmosphere where faith thrives. So grab a cup of coffee or tea and settle in and let's get started. Hello Clayton, welcome to the Limitless Spirit. How are you today?

Speaker 3:

I'm doing good, Helen. Thank you for having me. It's nice to be here with you.

Speaker 2:

So we're going to talk about a very important subject, I think, and very timely too, and it's about building spiritual habits in the home. So you and your friend wrote a book on the subject, and I think that it was truly perfect timing. So I always like to ask an author what prompted you to write this book now?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, well, I like that. You're talking about timing already. There's a chapter in the book on timing, so maybe we can dig into that a little bit as well. Yeah, six years ago now, my co-founder and I we started something called Good Kind. It really started with a product called Advent Blocks. That was essentially a product that we created to help our family focus on Jesus at Christmas and not just presents. It actually worked really well for our families.

Speaker 3:

The next year ended up working well for 5,000 families and we just continued to get this feedback that people had tried to do something but they had never really actually been able to follow through and do it.

Speaker 3:

And when they got Advent Blocks, they were able to actually start the follow through and do it. And when they got Advent Blocks, they were able to actually start the Advent Guide and finish it. And so we actually reverse engineered what was successful about Advent Blocks and we actually noticed that there were some consistent themes with what made it work. That we had kind of put in place because of things we had learned from both the Bible and habit scientists on how to be more consistent with our spiritual habits, and we've been using that playbook, so to speak, for the last five years, as we've created other products, and then we just wrote the playbook down and that's what you have in your hands. It's six small steps that you can make that will help you be more consistent in the spiritual habits that you have great intentions to do but sometimes have a little bit of difficulty actually following through.

Speaker 2:

So very interesting. I already want to know what the Advent blocks are, but we'll get to that that sounds interesting.

Speaker 2:

You know, it's not a new complaint to say that there are so many things vying for the attention of our children and our own right now various mediums of information, entertainment that can be very distracting to creating this right spiritual atmosphere in the home. Have you run into these challenges? I want us to highlight maybe some of the challenges that families are facing today when they attempt to create this ritual spiritual environment in the household on December 23rd, I think it was 2019.

Speaker 3:

My daughter, kara, said to us mommy and daddy, you say that Christmas is all about Jesus, but it feels like Christmas is all about presents, right? So there's that alignment issue, and the reason that is is because our environment, the things we do, how we set up our homes, where we work all these different things have a profound impact on who we are and how we behave, and we think that we need to just pay a little bit more attention to that. So the way that the room is set up where you're tucking your kids in, or the way the room is set up where you're trying to read your Bible can just have a profound impact on whether or not you do what you meant to do and also how consistently you do it. And it matters a lot because the small things that we do day to day are really the things that end up making our families into who they are.

Speaker 2:

That's very true. And you know, when there is a disconnect between the environment in the home and what we're trying to teach our children when we take them to church or we, you know, encourage them to read the Word of God when there's that disconnect, that's when we take them to church or we, you know, encourage them to read the word of God. When there's that disconnect, that's when we end up with the results that are not desirable. You know to where the kids don't want to know what you have to say and they don't want to follow you to church. And so I agree with you that you know, when we live what we preach, it makes much greater impact on our children and on ourselves as well. So I think we've established that building spiritual habits in the home is absolutely essential. So let's talk about, in today's culture of business and digital distractions, what do you think are the biggest obstacles that are preventing families from building these spiritual habits?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I mean time probably is the largest obstacle, and you would probably put technology right behind that as an impact on time. You know, everything is just built to be efficient and fast, and God doesn't typically work that way. Right, we all want things to kind of be done and be under our control, but what we end up seeing in scripture is that Jesus is walking everywhere, healing people as he goes, and, yes, there are things that happen dramatically and fast, but the way that he had an impact on the disciples and on the whole world actually ended up being something that happened much slower. You know, chapter one of the book is a chapter on who God is and what that means for our spiritual habits, and one of those five roots about God and what it means for our spiritual habits is that he prefers to work slowly. You know we want him to work quickly, but he Chris, my coauthor references a book called the Three Mile an Hour God.

Speaker 3:

That God, in order to make us best know who he is, actually came and walked with us, and that's about the pace that a human ends up walking.

Speaker 3:

And so it's just interesting to think about how God is changing us.

Speaker 3:

He certainly will change us, but it's going to take a lot longer than what we expected. So then you're saying what is the thing that is the biggest limitation on spiritual culture or habits in our home? And I think it's that we pass through our days without thinking about the spiritual, when the spiritual is profoundly around us everywhere and we need to slow down in order to respond to God and notice what he is doing. So that's probably why spiritual practices of slowing things like Sabbath, things like silence, that type of thing end up being such a big emphasis when you read a book on spiritual disciplines. But actually, if you go back and you read writings of spiritual fathers hundreds and hundreds of years ago, when there were no cars and there's no phones, and you know the work was, you know, much closer to your home, and they actually also are still saying, hey, slow down, slow down, notice what God is doing. It's not just us today, but you would have to imagine that it's profoundly, exponentially impacted because of the way that we live our lives.

Speaker 2:

That's a great point. So we've already a little bit touched on that. But what about the resistance from children, for example? So how can parents approach faith formation when their kids don't seem interested in that?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, well, that makes me think of like an analogy that we've used before about kids and target. You know, if you take a five-year-old six-year-old, that five-year-old six-year-old has never been taught or told how to go into a Target, find a pack of Sour Patch Kids and to pay for it and to leave the store. We've never actually sat them down and told it to them. But how many five to six-year-olds, if we gave them a credit card, could actually do that? The reason they can do it is because they actually have been trained to do it, not necessarily taught to do it. So I'll say it this way.

Speaker 3:

I mean, I think that as long as we are thinking about the spiritual lives of our children as both a combination of teaching and training, there may at some point be some kind of pushback against the teaching, but there's often not as much pushback against the training, because most of the training is modeling.

Speaker 3:

You don't have to have them do it, but if they watch you do it, it will get into them. Train up a child in the way you should go and he will not depart from them. It says train, teaching is really, really important, but training is also incredibly important as well, and they often want to join you in it. One of the chapters, one of the six small steps, is making it playful. So that will be the one other thing that, if you're experiencing resistance from kids on participating with you spiritually, I would look at what you're doing and see whether or not it is age appropriate and playful enough for a kid to want to be engaged. And we think that seriousness is really important in spirituality. But play is incredibly virtuous as well and often brings us back over and over and invites our kids to belong.

Speaker 2:

That really segues right into my next question. So what are the foundational elements that help create a home where faith is a natural part of life rather than just another task?

Speaker 3:

Well, I mean, the hard part of that answer, helen, is that it has to be in the parents. We can often try to structure things to teach our kids to live a different way than we are. You know, do as I say, not as I do. That doesn't really work that well, I mean, I think, the way that you make it apart. That's why the book and the small steps that you can take, they're not uniquely family or children's steps. They're things that adults could apply to their own lives as well, so that they can be more consistent in Bible reading and prayer as well, because it is that modeling that actually will set the environment of your home.

Speaker 2:

So I was looking at the reviews and comments that people made after reading your book, and they're saying these are really easy steps. So everybody loves easy. So, clayton, let's jump straight into those steps, because I love the part easy. Something tells me, though, that it's not really that easy, because good things take time and effort, you know, but maybe they're not as complicated as people may think, because it can seem daunting, you know, especially maybe for families with the parents and new believers, and the children maybe are not so little, so their formation is already somewhere in the middle. You know it could seem daunting. So let's look at these steps and see how they can be applicable to our lives.

Speaker 3:

Well, so the first step you've already hit on there and for everybody who's listening and that's not holding the book the first step is make it easy. We actually say, easier than you think you have to Now. Of course, we get that from habit. Scientists, right, where they'll say you know, challenge yourself to, you know, walk for three minutes a day, not run a marathon. Right, because you have to like, be consistent and start with something small in order to grow to something that is big. So we get it there. But it also is is.

Speaker 3:

We find it in the Bible as well, you know, just in the book of Matthew, to be fair, jesus definitely talks about taking up your cross and following him. Right, but also he says come and follow me because my burden is easy. Right, my, my yoke is light. He's actually saying that as well, and I think he is saying that in the context of the Pharisees, who were doing what? The exact opposite, making it harder than it has to be. So we're not at all saying that it's not going to be hard or that it's not going to become difficult in some ways and Jesus wouldn't say that either but I do think that he says the beginning place is easy.

Speaker 3:

The burden is light, and so when we're thinking about making it easy, what we're trying to do is we're trying to say we want everybody to be engaged, not just the super Christians. We'd rather an entire church memorize one verse of Romans than one person in the church memorize the entire book of Romans. Now that person should do that. More power to them. But what we're trying to do in this book is to get the rest of us who are trying to be intentional and actually walk out our faith and actually get engaged and be consistent with the God who we believe is actually going to change us.

Speaker 2:

That's awesome. So let's kind of skim over some of those steps to give our listeners a overview of what they can expect to learn.

Speaker 3:

Yep. So make it easy is the first one. The second one is make it tangible. You know, our lives are very tangible and we get a lot of reminders on our phones. But there's actually so many reminders on our phones that often they just drown back into the background. But what doesn't drown back into the background is a beautiful piece, a tangible item that reminds you to do something that you're supposed to do Tennis shoes sitting at the door reminds you that you want to go for a walk.

Speaker 3:

A Gratikube, which is another one of the products we made, sitting on the dinner table reminds you that you want to have conversation. Then it's pick a place, because your environment really, really matters. You walk into a movie theater and everybody's sitting in chairs facing in one direction and everybody's pretty quiet and they listen right. But if you walk into a gym and there's stands around a basketball court, everybody gets really loud. Why is that? It's because the environment itself actually invites us into doing the thing we want to do we should pay attention to that for our spiritual habits as well.

Speaker 3:

Then it's choose your timing, and that's the one that you were talking about in the very beginning. You know, god made evening and morning. He didn't make the hours or the seconds, and so if we follow him in his design for our lives, we want to pay attention to how our body has these rhythms in the day, where everybody wants to take a nap in the afternoon or either have another cup of coffee and that's probably not the best time to be doing your Bible reading because of how your body is acting at that time and then we finish up with make it playful and find your friends. I already mentioned playful a little bit to make sure that we're engaging with our whole family and then finding our friends. We were made for community, but also doing these things in community greatly increases the likelihood that we're going to do it over time. So that's it Make it easy, make it tangible, pick a place, choose your timing, make it playful and find your friends. Which one, do you kind of, resonates with you the most? Helen?

Speaker 2:

Oh, that's a good question. I would say all of them honestly, because, well, I really like the make it tangible, because this is going to be my next question. You keep talking about these blocks that are making those moments tangible, so let's talk about them. The Advent blocks, and you said the gratitude. I love those. So making tangible is probably the one where I think I want to dig deeper, because I think maybe I've spent the least amount of time on that one. So I'm very curious. You know, make the timing, I'm all about that. I love that. You know, making it playful Maybe I sometimes fall behind on that one. I'm a very serious person, I love to have fun, but I don't know. That's a good one too. So let's talk about the tangible ways that we can create reminders in our lives.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, so quickly I'll say this is pervasive throughout the Bible right Altars In Deuteronomy it says write these things on your doorpost, carry them on hearts. Now he says, no, take this bread and eat it, drink this cup and as you do these things, remember me, because reminding ourselves is so much easier than having to remember. And it doesn't mean that we're less intentional, because sometimes it drops out of our mind that we're planning to do something. So tangible things are really, really important. A couple of examples that I would give you would be like you want to make sure that you pick an item that draws you in. It needs to be beautiful, it needs to be and it needs to also remind you of the thing that you would like to do. So an example that I haven't mentioned yet would be like a kneeling pad. If you put like a kneeling pad or honestly even like a folded up towel at the side of your kid's bed, it will cue you to kneel on the side of the bed when you're talking to your kid at night and for prayer, and so if you don't have that pad there, then it might slip your mind or you kind of get rushed or you don't remember that you want to do that. But putting the tangible item there, it draws you in and encourages you and reminds you to do the thing that you wanted to do. You know I already mentioned tennis shoes at the door reminds you that you want to take a walk.

Speaker 3:

But the Advent block specifically, it's 25 blocks that you sit on a mantle at Christmas time it looks like a Christmas decoration. Again, beauty is really important. And then every day you take the block numbered 1 through 25 and you turn it and it reveals an image that corresponds to a story in a book that we provide the King is Coming. And. And it reveals an image that corresponds to a story in a book that we provide the King is Coming, and it goes throughout the whole story of the Bible. So every day you're turning the block revealing an image, turning the block revealing an image, and there's a star that sits on top, that is moving across day by day and is getting closer to the globe. That is on the other end of the block, sitting on top of number 25, representing God coming to earth to stay. And then at the very end, you flip all the blocks again and there's a secret message in the back. But in terms of the tangibility. You tell a kid we're going to turn a block. Every day they know that it's the 5th of December and they look up there and they say, oh, we haven't turned the block yet. Hey, we need to read this story.

Speaker 3:

That tangible item has reminded us to do the thing that we wanted to do. Now. You remember that first year I was telling you about my daughter, kara, who said you say that Christmas is all about Jesus. It feels like all about presents. We were doing an Advent guide that year, but it just wasn't central enough to the home. We didn't do it every day. There's something about the tangible reminder that actually began to rival the presents.

Speaker 3:

And then the Gratacube is a 12-sided die. It's a small little wooden block that has some etching on it of 12 different prompts, of things that you can be grateful for, and you just roll it like a die at the dinner table and then you pick it up and it says someone made you smile and you say God, thank you for my conversation with Helen today. It made me smile and a lot of people want to be intentional with their table conversation, but it can sometimes get tiring or boring or repetitive, and so we just created an item that made the kids ask for the conversation rather than the parent having to force it.

Speaker 2:

I just love it. I already have in my mind I want the advent blocks and you know, my kids are grown actually, so I don't have little kids and home. But I'm thinking about friends. You know what a great conversation piece to have on your mantle around Christmas time or, you know, around mealtime when you have friends over for dinner to have a gratitude and great conversation starter. So I just love, I love that, and what a wonderful thing that God inspired you with this idea, you know, and so that is just absolutely beautiful.

Speaker 2:

So let's talk about some obstacles along the way. So let's say, you know, our listener purchased your book and they want to implement that in their household. Well, we know that, if nothing else, the devil hates anything that we do that brings us closer to God and makes us a better follower of Christ. So it's inevitable that there are going to be obstacles, christ. So it's inevitable that there are going to be obstacles, and perhaps you have experienced them yourself in that journey of building spiritual habits in your home. So what can you say about that?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, I think everybody should expect obstacles, everybody should expect failure, because starting a new habit, spiritual or not, is something that takes time and actually the six small steps that we talk about in the book, what we intend there. Is this actually a tool that you can use to continue to tweak your plan so that you can continue to be more and more consistent? The example of failure for me is, you know, me and my co-author, chris we're trying to pray more often throughout the day and we wanted to do this. This is actually not on the website, but you know we're into tangible. So we had these little wooden chips that had our prayer requests on it that we would carry around with us during the day and then in the evening we would drop it into a jar. Not super fancy, but it was a good reminder and we could kind of see how our prayers were stacking up.

Speaker 3:

When I first started that, I was not consistent at all. Chris would be like, hey, do you have your chip? Hey, are you praying today? And I'd be like, nope, forgot, sorry, forgot. You know, over and over and over again, what I ended up realizing is that I had my bowl of chips in the wrong location in the house. So this is about picking your place and a little bit about the tangibles. That's two chapters we're talking about here.

Speaker 3:

So I took that bowl the tangible, the bowl and the wooden chips and I moved it to where I was getting into my closet, where I was getting dressed every day. Because what was happening is I had it in my bedroom on my bedside table, but I didn't walk past my bedside table after I was dressed for the day, so I didn't have pockets on in order to carry it with me. And so I put that chip in the closet and then boom, every day I was picking one up, put it. And so I put that chip in the closet and then boom, every day I was picking one up, put in my pocket, pick one up, put in my pocket. And then the jar that I dropped it in was downstairs in the kitchen. So I would get home at dinner and I would drop it into the kitchen.

Speaker 3:

That first time I could have just gotten down on myself and actually stopped trying or thought you know, I don't love God enough in order to pray, you know and gotten really discouraged when actually what I needed to do is make an. That's another chapter, three chapters now Find my friends. Help me because he encouraged me to shift the location, the tangible helped me because when I actually put it in my pocket but then the place that I put, that ended up being really important so that I could actually get started every day. So those things are. You're not going to get perfect the first time, but the steps should be things that you can continue to tweak. Whether if you move houses or you change jobs or you change rooms or you get another kid, you know things are going to have to continually change. Hopefully this helps people reiterate and kind of pick back up and see failure not as failure but as feedback.

Speaker 2:

I love how practical that is. My husband and I led a class at our church. You know about building spiritual habits church. You know about building spiritual habits and I wish your book was available for me right there and right then, because those practical things could help reinforce the theory. You know we were going through the theory of what we need to work on, but this really is a great tool. So have you heard maybe feedback from some of your readers, success stories that you can share with our listeners?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, at this point the book is pretty new.

Speaker 3:

Most of our success stories that we've heard so far have been with the products that we've created. I think that if you have kids in the home and you can do something that is playful and tangible and you tell them hey, if you bring this to me, I will do this thing with you, kids serve as excellent accountability devices because they love to engage with the grownups that are in the house and if they're given permission to do that and the adult is going to say yes, I think you provide a great loop for making sure that that habit is happening. We've heard so many people say I've started Advent Guys before but I've never finished one. And now my kids won't let me leave on a December night, even if they know that I'm going to be out for the evening without doing the reading. It's just kind of this demand. So we definitely think that there are ways to get ourselves into a better rhythm of doing these habits and if we get into a better position of habits, that God's going to definitely do something in us along the way.

Speaker 2:

That's awesome, so we're going to post a link to the book, so will they also be able to see how they can order? Maybe they want to order some more Advent blocks or the Gratitude. So, is it all available there on the website?

Speaker 3:

Yeah, so the link that you're going to provide is a link to the book on our website, and then on our website you can actually see there in the toolbar Advent blocks, gratitude. We have Easter blocks, we have something for prayer, something for Sabbath, so there's a ton of things that people can engage with there. The book right now is only sold on Amazon. It's not sold on our website, but if you want to go to our website, that's what the link will be, and it's goodkindshop. That's goodkindshop.

Speaker 2:

I think I'm going to go shopping after this interview because I'm excited. I'm excited about these tangible pieces that I can bring into my home. So you know, going back to your book, let's talk about maybe three most important takeaways that our listeners will have if they purchase your book. I just wanted to make it easy for them to do that when they come to your website.

Speaker 3:

Yeah. So if you get the book, here are the things that can even make the book itself easier. Number one on the chapter page, like the first page of every chapter, we actually write the take-home point for every chapter. So if you get to the make it easy chapter, it actually has listed what we mean by make it easy. Forgive yourself, make it easier than you think and write it down, and so you can pretty quickly know what we're going to say, flip through those things and really get a good sense of what's happening in the book.

Speaker 3:

Another thing that I would suggest would be the additional resources in the back.

Speaker 3:

If you go into the back, there's actually an additional resources page that actually gives you a sentence that actually puts all of the different steps together, and if you fill out the sentence on that page, then, boom, you already have everything that you need in order to go and start a new spiritual habit and then also back there if you want to.

Speaker 3:

There are a lot of different spiritual habit options that we've put back there, with specific recommendations on each one of the steps, so that if you've wanted to start a Sabbath practice before and you didn't know where to start, you can read the book and we encourage you to come up with your own right the way, the six small steps for you. That will make you consistent with it, because they're probably going to be a little bit different than ours. But if you want six steps to start and you want us just to tell you exactly what to do, that's back in the acknowledgements as well. So all the different add-ons, the chapter pages and those two things in the back of the book are really, really important and hopefully make it really accessible for everyone.

Speaker 2:

Well, thank you so much, Clayton. That was really exciting and I am looking forward to checking out these tools that you have available. I really encourage our listeners to pick up this book, because I think that these habits are not going to happen in our lives until we become very intentional about that, and then very practical, about implementing these habits into our daily routine, and so I'm thankful that the Lord inspired you to create this practical and helpful tool. So thank you for this interview, and I wish you God's favor on your journey.

Speaker 3:

Thank you. Thanks for having me, Helen.

Speaker 2:

Wow, what an encouraging conversation with Clayton Green. I love how he reminds us that building spiritual habits in the home is not about perfection. It's about consistency and grace and creating a space where faith naturally grows. If you've been feeling overwhelmed or discouraged in this area, I hope this episode has given you both practical steps and renewed hope. Remember you don't have to do this alone, and it is never too late to start. Small, faithful steps can have a lasting impact on your family's spiritual journey.

Speaker 2:

If you want to dive deeper into this topic, I highly recommend Clayton's book Building Spiritual Habits in the Home, as well as the tangible tools that he developed. I'm posting the link to his website in the show notes and, of course, you can always find the book on Amazon. And if you found this conversation helpful, please share it with a friend who might need this encouragement too. I feel like every Christian parent needs to hear this. Also, don't forget to subscribe to Limitless Spirit so you never miss an episode. And, of course, if today's conversation spoke to you, I would love to hear from you, Leave a comment or share your notes via podcast at rfwmaorg. World Missions Alliance is all about helping you connect with your greater purpose through short-term missions. So if Great Commission is close to your heart, if you want to take the gospel to the nations, please visit our website rfwmaorg. Thank you for joining me. Until next time, keep living out your faith with purpose and passion.

Speaker 1:

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